Bridging the Communication Gap

We decided the University of Richmond Campus wasn't a large enough bridge.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Bees: Deciding to Choose

By a Member of The Birds and the Bees' Staff

There is an idea about time that suggests that time is not linear and in fact branches off into separate and unique timelines every time we make a decision. Perhaps this is really an idea about parallel dimensions. No matter. What is important is the focal point of decision-making. We would typically assume that it would only be big decisions that could affect the direction of time. Time is not so shallow.

What is it that makes a decision a big one? Immediate degree of importance? The long term affect of the consequences on a person's life, psyche or emotions? Only in retrospect can we interpret a choice's impact. The availability of interpretation makes it such that all decisions must diverge into different timelines. Regardless of what we see as a “big” decision, they are all decisions we make and thus all of those made and those paths untaken must have consequences of some sort. If this idea has any truth to it, then we must every day, every moment, every instant decide to choose and follow the path of that choice to its end. Why? Because once the direction of time has been set we must travel its course. All attempts to undo will fail; you can't turn back the hands of time.

What does this psuedo-metaphysical bullshit have to do with relationships and communication? I'm not there yet.

There is an idea about a girl (or boy) that suggests that (s)he is the one. The perfect center between Mr(s). Right and Mr(s). Right-Now. Surely, it seems contradictory to say that since The One would be assumed to be Mr(s). Right. That is after all what makes them The One, right? Well, no, not always. This again is one of those things we can only know at relationship's end through our interpretation of the ending and our memories of all time before that. From what I've seen, The One has walked in and out of my life many times with just as many names and faces. And each time I was wrong about her. I only know that to be true today, of course, having had the time to reflect upon it. Our choices brought us together and our choices made us part ways. It would be impossible to pinpoint every “big” decision, but when you can see the Great Wall from space you can't deny its existence.

We believe choices like “Let's stay together” to be big decisions, especially when that means enduring the states' distance between us and many long-distance phone calls. We ignore the many small decisions that support that larger choice. Here's where it gets messy. We don't understand what is and isn't a small or big decision. Cheating and telecommunicating are both small and large decisions, respectively. Read that twice. See what I did there?

The decision to stay faithful in a long-distance relationship supports the meaning of your original decision to stay with your significant other despite what may come between you. It is the only thing that you do that genuinely decides whether or not you are still in the relationship you decided to stay in. Telecommunication is how you decide to play the character of a person in a relationship.

Similar to the government being the people with the monopoly on violence, your significant other is the person that has the monopoly on your physical intimacy. Now displace that person out of reach of your body for long periods of time and that monopoly is only rhetorical. You once again have the ability to do as you please so long as you are playing the part via text messages and lengthy phone calls. “This seems like the ramblings of the amoral,” creeps a whisper over my shoulder. No matter. This is the nature of the main decision to stay together. What become “big” decisions are those smaller choices to uphold the foundation of that rhetorical power over one's physical intimacy; those decisions that (s)he will most likely never know of.

These small choices have the largest impact on your relationship even if your partner is completely unaware. Keeping a steady flow of communication is the necessary and “big” decision, but your tone of voice when introduced to a new young (wo)man in the bar is a small decision of grand import. The choice to engage with the tone of voice you had locked away when your significant other was still here to maintain the monopoly is small in the moment. It was just a conversation... a really pleasant conversation. It is nice to be back out there talking to new people, getting fresh compliments, having your ego boosted and being told in different words that you “still got it.” Cheating is, in the end, a small decision that determines the truth of your Facebook profile's declaration that you are “in a relationship with...”

This is, of course, just one example to support, not an idea about time, but rather an idea bout decision-making. While time might diverge, we walk one path seamlessly unaware of what the decisions we didn't make could have brought to us. We can only know the consequences of the choice we did make, so it is of the utmost importance that we make the conscious decision to choose and follow that choice. When you choose to be with who may or may not be The One, you cannot know if (s)he is, but you must follow as if (s)he were because in the present you believe it to be true. When you make the “big” decision to stay together despite distance, it is only to your benefit to make the small and larger decisions necessary to maintain that to the full extent to which you actually decided to choose that direction in the fork in time. When you decide to choose you must follow that earnestly to its end. But if not, that is a new and separate choice that redirects the flow of time, with a path you must follow and a path you will never know.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Buzzing: A Lady gives Fellas 12 DO NOTs for the first impression

By The Birds and the Bees' Staff and The Reader(s)

This is the second of the reader response posts. We love your interactions with us and appreciate every one. We decided this week to post the full responses we've gotten outside of the comments to show some love, and let the other readers know what The Reader(s) are saying. The Reader(s) wrote this in response to “The Bees: Give the Ladies 13 'Do Nots' for the First Impression.” One of our most vocal readers provided this list for us, offering a female's equal and opposite list of things not to do to make a good first impression. She's pretty on point.

The Reader(s)'s email reads:
“Assuming the "first impression" starts with the introduction/initiation of the conversation and not the stare down from across the room... Here's my list of total turn offs that guys should never do unless they want to go home alone.

1. Do not use a corny pick-up line. They're not cute and we might "laugh" but we really think you're a loser.

Example: "How much does a polar bear weigh?.... Enough to break the ice! Hi I'm........."

2. Don't get so close that you're invading personal space. Crossing the personal space boundary distinguishes you from a good guy trying to hold a conversation and a creeper/Asian tickler

3. Do not ask me if I want to buy you a drink. You should be asking me that

4. Don't forget to compliment me. I must be convinced that you're approaching me because I'm the hottest girl in the room.

5. Don't approach me and then expect me to hold the entire conversation. Just like guys don't like ditsy girls that ramble on and on... girls don't like guys that stand there and just nod at everything we say,

6. Try to use proper English when you talk to us unless we don't speak English then well.... you have a problem of your own.

Example... do not walk up to us and be like: "Ay yo hottie what up"


7. DO NOT ever call me "girl" "babe" "hun" "sweetie" etc. You haven't earned that privilege just yet. Slow your roll.

8. Do not get caught looking at another girl. I shouldn't have to explain why.

9. Don't talk about your ex... ever. And don't blab about your "bros." We don't really want to hear about your friends unless you're trying to get us to hook up with one of them....

10. Don't get so drunk that you can't remember my name. Actually, if you're really that interested... just don't get THAT drunk. That's a clear indication of where I would stand in our relationship.

11. Be a little bit humble. Although we want to learn about you... we don't want to know about how much you love yourself and could never love anyone else as much as you love you.


12. DO NOT forget your deodorant, gum, and cologne. I will not speak to you if you reek from every orifice of your body and you're sweating like a pig on a sunny day down in hell.”

Keep sending us your responses and questions to We do love hearing from you.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Birds: Mixing it up

By The Watcher

Typically, as humans, we are creatures of habit. We all have our own methods of how we live our lives. We usually take the same route home everyday. We order our food a certain way. We buy the same drinks when we go out. We shop at the same stores. Once we find a routine that suits us, we typically do not stray far from it.

Having a routine is how we organize our daily lives. The daily habits we create and maintain, lead to a wonderfully simplifying predictability in our daily lives. However being predictable can be the very thing that is holding you back from finding that mate you long to have. Being predictable can also be the fastest way to let the flame burn out in your relationship. There is a saying that goes, “if it ain't broke don't fix it”. If you are continuously running into dead-end companions then you need some variation in your life because what ever routine you have going for yourself is not helping you get the results you desire. If your relationship is not as exciting as it use to be in the past, you could use some variation in your routine as well. I’m not saying that all habits and routines are bad. However if your current habits and routine prove to be fruitless in the relationship department, then change is needed.

Change is good because disrupts a stagnant routine. You want your lifestyle to be more like a moving river instead of a stagnant lake. Rivers are ever flowing streams of fresh water that can be both gentle and exciting at the same time. Lakes are idle and inactive bodies of water that lack movement or continuity. When there is no change and energy you end up doing the same old thing, day after day. Most people are resistant to change because they feel they are losing control over their lives. However when it comes to breaking the monotony in your life, you are in control.

There are many single people out there that are frustrated with the opposite sex. In your mind you are doing everything you are suppose to be doing to find that great mate. You're staying in decent shape, keeping an up-to-date wardrobe, you're going out for happy hours and weekend events to be social. But nothing seems to work. For whatever reason you still end up right where you started, single and alone. Ladies, stop going after the badass guy at the bar. Yes, you may be attracted to him, BUT you cannot change him to be your knight in shining amour. Fellas, stop going after the skeeza in the mini-skirt with the tramp stamp on her back. You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.

If you are in a current relationship and you feel it is getting a little boring or dull, take it upon yourself to be spontaneous. Attempt to engage in new activities with your significant other that you two have not tried yet. Go on a surprise date. Leave them naughty notes in random places. Send them a dirty picture or two. Cook a meal together instead of going out to eat. Have sex in new positions than your standard 3 positions. Break out of the mundane and express yourself to your partner. You become complacent in a relationship when the activities you share with your partner become predictable and mundane. By not being continuously spontaneous and creative with your partner you allow the flame you two shared to slowly fizzle out. And as you know, an idle mind is the devil’s playground. If you are not staying on your partner’s mind, I’m here to tell you someone else is occupying that void you left. Hence, this opens the door to cheating and an eventual break up.

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel that you are in a funk, if you are in a relationship drought, if you feel like you are lonely and there is no one out there for you, I suggest you change the type of people you go seek. Break away from your current expectations of your desirable mate and expand your horizons. You may be surprised with who you are actually compatible with.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Buzzing: Thinking about Sex

By The Birds and the Bees' Staff and The Reader(s)

Since we began this blog we have come to notice a number of things about ourselves, our readers, and the blogging process. It’s understood within The Birds and the Bees’ Staff that comments are a bit of a pain to leave on this website if you aren't a member. We thoroughly appreciate all of your readership, especially when you interact with us via comments or emails. So far a couple readers have given us their personal responses via email to our lists through the lens of the feminine perspective. We decided to post these as individual posts to show our appreciation and give the rest of the readers a little insight into what other readers think.

The Reader(s)'s email reads:
“A - [The Bees: Thinking about Sex] is the best post in a while...congrats.
B - My friend and I came up with a list similar to the one posted under comments and a response to the original.
1. I said he can finish anywhere...I hope he knows that means not my face.
2. Will this interfere with my day tomorrow?
3. I sure hope this condom doesn't break. Wait...I sure hope he put on the condom!
4. What time does CVS open for the morning after pill?
5. What should I wear tomorrow?
6. I wonder what he is going to tell his friends. I hope he knows this hookup has nothing to do with that stupid line he said earlier.
7. Is he watching Sports Center as we fuck? Ha..I said Sports Center like I know what it is.
8. How long will he stay? outfit is going to require ironing in the morning.
9. What should I tell my friends...I'll boost him up just in case I need to use him again. This C + stroke will be a B+ to my friends.
10. I hope he knows that his book of 365 moves won't get past move 5.”

Keep sending us your responses and questions to We do love hearing from you.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Bees: Give the Ladies 13 “Do Nots” for the First Impression

By The Birds and the Bees' Staff

How does every relationship start? “Hello.” Everyone with whom you've been intimate you met first. Ladies, for you, we've compiled a list of “Do Nots” to avoid making a bad first impression. But why wouldn't we compile a list of things to do to make a good impression? Because between the four of us we have four different perspectives on what leaves an impressive impression. Not all of us would have accepted being told that a young lady wouldn't be able to accept an invitation to a party because she had a previously arranged (presumably sexual) engagement that evening. A wise man once said, “That [girl] has no manners.” And now that young lady and the receptive young man are in the strongest relationship since the ending of Date Night. “But that ending wasn't very strong.” Yes, and this one either. Get it?

Anyways, it's much too simple to misstep during your first meeting with a guy. We can't account for all variables, but these are assured things NOT to do to lower the chances of such an out of line footfall. Here's the list as it would be read by one of our staff members (Hint: it's not [Doogie Howser,] MD) :

1. Don't keep staring if you're not going to talk.

I know its usually the man's job to be the aggressor, but, honestly, I know about the suffrage movement too. It's 2011, you can take the initiative too.

2. Don't give me the eyes when your man is in the room. Bad etiquette. Now I'm not a home wrecker, but you put enough blood in the catch my drift.

3. Do not blend in with the crowd.

The beauty of many of the settings in which we meet people is how anonymous we can be to those that don't know us. We let loose and act in the group mentality. Stop yelling as your girlfriends pass you. I understand that you enjoy being out with your friends, but the tribal shriek of excitement is not cute.

4. Do not discuss a heavy topic (i.e. politics) unless you are ready to have a serious conversation and are willing to defend yourself/ No religion or politics talk please.

This depends heavily on the recipient, but until you gauge whether or not this is the kind of guy that refuses to take you seriously if you are only providing small talk avoid such topics.

5. Do not play dumb under the irrational belief that it somehow makes you physically more attractive.

6. Don't wear a skimpy outfit and spend the entire time tugging at your skirt and trying to hide your cleavage. You spent at least an hour getting dressed with the lights on; you knew what look you were going for.

Speaking of which, if you look like a hoe I'm going to assume you're a hoe. Dave Chappelle said it best, "Its like if I wear a police uniform, and you ask me for help, and I say, 'Oooh, I'm not a cop.'"

7. Don't get sloppy.

If you can't handle your liquor, I know you can't handle me.

8. Don't ask me to dance if you're not going to “Back that Thang Up.”

I will only two step to a few songs. Swag.

9. Just because I buy you one drink, don't expect to put all your drinks on my tab.

You haven't earned that privilege yet. Slow your roll.

10. Don't bring up your ex. And even after you actively attempt to not mention him, do not let on that you are still bitter from your last relationship.

If we need to explain the reasons behind this please email us this request. We will formally lay out the full reasons why this is a piss-poor idea and graphically detail how pungent the smell of “BitterBitch” is.

11. Do not let on that you do not suck dick.

This isn't as ridiculous as you assume it is. During your first meeting no guy wants to hear about the sexual limitations you have. Even if you “don't do that,” that is a conversation for a later date. And, frankly, one of two things will cross my mind if you do tell me you don't 1.) To quote Lil Wayne, “I don't fuck with bitches with the stadium!/ That's no dome/ Bitch go home//” or 2.) That's what they all say before they suck dick.

12. Don't ask if I'm going to call you.

Desperation is a clear sign of those losing... habitually. The game is only fun when the other party involved stands as a worthy player.

13. Don't friend me on Facebook and write on my wall the same night we met.

I won't be calling you.

Alright, so possibly we let the most aggressive of us narrate this one for you. The main points still stand. Do you disagree? Or have a corresponding list of what guys shouldn't do when making the first impression? Leave us a comment below or email us at We're always interested in what you have to say...assuming it isn't politics or religion.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Birds:Defibrillation is a Hell of a Drug

By Mr. SR...C

“You abandoned me, love don’t live here anymore. Just a vacancy, love don’t live here anymore.” Now that lady, Rose Royce, knows what she is talking about. The problem is that many cannot bring themselves to vacate that love. People want to hold on to that love, that painstaking heartache, that struggle for constant heart fluttering, but eventually the heart drops. It seems so many of us fall in love, but when that love has failed to be fruitful for us or our partner many cannot logically accept that that one time love has now soured, changing into a past love and no longer the love we once knew. Having loved or still loving someone does not mean that the love is meant to be consummated in relationship form.

Relationships end, yet it is so irrefutably clear that denial of that possibility in a relationship littered with “I love you” and “I love you too” hardly allows the relationship to end cleanly or even end definitely. Now I understand that when you love another person and they love you that it is very hard to rid yourself of those deep rooted and intense feelings. Feelings that make your body actually physically react to any situation concerning the other, so serious that if they hurt you your heart begins to ache, so embedded that when you look at them in the morning you cannot help but smile. Rose says it best “when you lived inside of me, there was nothing that I could conceive that you wouldn’t do for me.” That is some serious stuff, some serious, serious feelings. I do not know how many people have felt that way, but I know there are readers out there who have. A love so strong that you would do anything for the other person, short of taking a bullet, but then again there are those that would take that bullet willingly for the one they love. That’s the type of love that is rooted in one’s soul and that’s the type of love that if the relationship ends has to be channeled out of the very fabric of you’re being. Think colon cleanse; whole lot of shit to get rid of.

I am all about love and all that good stuff (like apple sauce and Aladdin), but when relationships that make it to the “Love Dimension” end they need to stay ended. On and off relationships in the “Love Dimension” from my experience are just relationships that have no actual possibility of progress. What I mean by that is even if after ten to eleven break-ups you end up getting married and\or having kids there still will be those reasons why you broke up the first, fifth, and eighth place. Missing someone and still loving them does not always justify going back into a situation that was broken. Your relationship ended because one or both parties had an issue that could not be resolved within the realm of the relationship ,so one or both parties ended it. The key is the phrase “break-up”. To “break-up” is to scatter, disperse, separate into pieces, ceasing to function as an organized unit, et cetera. You get the point. There are a multitude of reasons a “break-up” can occur, but, none the less, in a relationship where love is involved there usually is a serious enough reason for the parties to be separated because if you are in love only serious issues should drive you apart, right? So it just would make sense that even with that love, if you felt, your partner felt, or you both felt it was necessary to “break-up”, it would follow that getting back together would be a bad decision, right?

I do not know how popular my theory on this is going to be, but when such a drastic cut is made as to bludgeon the life out of a relationship full of love there should only be death. This is not a cartoon. This is not the Bible. There is no resurrection here, and if there is a resurrection the relationship is going to look like a zombie. Yes, the living dead. A grotesque version of what once was; Heidi Montag comes to mind. People seem to try to use the love once held or possibly still held to repair an already too damaged relationship. You have to get over it. Your heart’s going to be tugged by good memories, but remember if everything was always good you would not be single. Your soul is going to be screaming for you to go back to the familiar, but you have to remember to tell yourself “love don’t live here anymore” because the same love does not live there. You may think it is the same love but once you break-up with someone the love changes. It is no longer the first and purest strain. It is a muddied, bastardized version that you must realize is going to be weaker than the first go around. Dr. Frankenstein’s resurrected wife/girlfriend seems like a fair analogy. With love and break-ups it only makes the love weaker not stronger, you are just getting used to how easy it is to leave each other.

Rose Royce is talking about her lover finding another home and abandoning her, which is real specific, but she moved on as did her previous mate. You cannot believe in that old pure form of “love” that you had, because there is “just a vacancy” and that love you knew “don’t live here anymore”.

“Now time to sit down and unwind to the smooth vibes of the groove you jive sexy thangs. A love lost means there's love to be found, chocolate treats and body heat, call the fire department," Issac Hayes voice.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Your Link(s) to the Outside World

By The Birds and the Bees' Staff

Today's post is special for a few reasons. 1.) This is a Friday post outside of our usual schedule (we made it special just for you). 2.) This post gives you, the readers, insight into the things that The Birds and the Bees' Staff are reading to stay knowledgeable about the subject at hand. Here's the thing: if you want more of these, we have to know you do. Give us feedback on what you thought of the articles. We are constantly seeking to improve for your benefit, thus we read outside sources constantly. Here's a peek at our reading material.

Hey, Researchers, It's Time to GET OVER Playboy's Depictions of Women” by Michael Castleman via Psychology Today

Media images bombard us in our every day life. Telling us what to wear, how to eat, smell, drink, and most frequently (and arguably most detrimentally) how to be attractive. And researchers are constantly studying how these images effect us on a group and individual level. Here's the catch: what if the images of beauty aren't keeping up with the societal development of a relative view of beauty? This is exactly what Castleman discusses by pointing out how old hat the study of Playboy's notions of beauty are since they are less a tell of societal understandings of beauty and more a show of Hefner's personal opinions of beauty.

Are Online Flirtations Cheating or Not?" By Stacy Kaiser via USA Today

Flirting can now be displayed in various forms nowadays with the advancement of technology. We are not limited to just flirting in person or on the telephone in today's society. Flirting can be in the form of a winking smiley face in a text, a Facebook message or a twit pic. This is helpful to the introverted person who gets cotton mouth when talking in person. However this can be the downfall to many relationships. Flirting online or via text is just as bad as flirting with someone online.

Translate Her Sex Sounds” by Kiera Aaron via Men's Health

This article caught our eye for an obvious reason. Our biggest question is whether this is true enough to make a general assumption. It also leads to the question of what are true signs of faking. We think the article is one that everyone should read in order to gain a handle on a situation that we (as men) often run into- deciphering the Sounds of Love Making.

"There's no Such Thing as a Home-Wrecker” via The Feminine Woman

How can you blame an outside source for infidelity in your relationship? Yes, there are those who prey on women and men in relationships, but then there are those who don't try very hard because the person in the relationship is interested. The point is your partner is cheating. It is your partner with whom you should be mad. We see a future article for The Birds and the Bees here.

We, The Birds and the Bees' Staff, hope you found these articles useful, informative, or at least entertaining. We clearly enjoyed them enough to share. But this is a trial run. If you'd like us to continue this let us know. More and more we realize that we write this blog for our own enjoyment, but its pointless without building an audience that enjoys our work. We want to provide you with worthwhile reading material, so let us know which of these articles was worth your while or if you even want us to continue providing links like this. Feedback. We want it. We need it. But more directly stated: we need you.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Bees: Thinking about Sex

By The Birds and the Bees' Staff

A while back, a reader asked us unofficially, “What do guys think about during sex?” Since it was unofficial the reader never got a formal post, but the question did come up among The Birds and the Bees' Staff, so we compiled a list of example thoughts we've had during sex. We'll explain a few things after.

Sample Thoughts during Sexy Time:
1.) She said I can finish anywhere. I hope that includes her face.
2.) What the Smurf am I going to do after I finish Smurfing? Sleep? TV? Sandwich? Will I want to Smurf again?
3.) I sure hope this condom don't break
4.) How long do I want this to go?
5.) Should I change my wall color?
6.) I can't wait for brunch tomorrow to tell everybody the line this broad fell for.
7.) The cigarette after this will be soooo fucking good. Ha! I said fuck. No pun intended. Wait, if no pun was intended should I stop stroking? Fuck it.
8.) Purple is a good color.
9.) I wonder what she's going to tell her friends.
10.) How many positions is she going to let me put her in?

Sample Thoughts after Sexy Time:
1.) I hope no one sees me when I leave.
2.) I wonder how long its going to take for her to ask to do this again.
3.) I wonder what's OnDemand.
4.) She's not nearly as good as the girl yesterday.
5.) I should probably...uh... say something to her like “good job” or something.

If it's good, MD proposed the awe struck,
6.) …
Which The Radical argued always gets vocalized as
7.) [an exhausted, long-winded sigh breathed through an uncontrollable smile]

During sex a guy's mind alternates between thinking about what's going on in the moment and everything else in the world. Ladies might wonder why this is the case, but the answer is fairly simple. Once he is too wrapped up in the thoughts about the sex at hand, it's all over. Climax control is the man's main focus during sex and that means that his thoughts have to be elsewhere at times to control excitement levels. When guys say they can cum on command what they really mean is that they can decide to stop trying not to cum. So when you are having the time of your life and he has a look on his face that looks like the bastard child of confusion and enlightenment. It's not because he isn't into it. He just can't get too into it. Ladies, our considerations of the international global markets and their effect on the cost of our preferred post-coitus beverages during doggy style are for your sake, not because we are that concerned with the price of tea in China.

So Ladies, what do you think about during sex?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Birds: EmotiCONS


Cheating is an act that isn't restricted to any one societal class, race, gender, or sexuality. The act which has been turned into what seems like a societal norm through television shows exposing individuals that decide to partake in one of America’s past-times, happens more often than we think. Cheating and betrayal can take place on two main levels: physical and emotional. We all know what physical cheating is and how we define it will differ depending on each person and their personal experience. While emotional cheating can also be defined based on an individual’s personal opinion, it also has a unique quality that does not exist on the physical level- the ability to be invisible in the early stages.

Both men and women cheat; however, through my experience, it seems that the two go about their deceitful ways differently. While both genders have the option to physical and emotionally cheat, it seems as if the two genders often end up with varying results. Through conversations with several individuals (both men and women), it seemed fair to say that men and women cheat physically as a result of dissatisfaction. However, coming up with reasons that men and women emotionally cheat proved to be the more difficult task.

Several people stated that they were unable to come up with situations where men would feel the need to emotionally cheat and how they would go about the act. I came up with an answer that may surprise some and enlighten others, “Men do cheat emotionally; however, they do not realize that it is emotionally cheating until the physical act has taken place.”

For example, if a man is a huge football fan; but, the woman that he is committed to would rather watch HGTV on Sundays, the male might find it more comforting to watch the game with a couple of his friends that do enjoy the Gridiron. The group may consist of both males and females; however, it feels like gender is not a part of the situation. The emotional cheating comes into play when the man feels as if he is unable to talk to his partner about the subject and can only speak to one of his female friends which share the same likes and dislikes. Although the male does not believe it is cheating, he is sharing a part of his life with another woman that he feels he is unable to share with the person he is committed too. We’ve all experienced situations where we discuss one topic with a friend and that leads to another topic which was not the original intent, but the end result. After a while, practice becomes habit and habit becomes natural. Thus, one connection leads to another, and another, until that male feels that they are in a Facebook relationship with the wrong person. Once this takes place- right around the time of the first awkward eye contact or goodbye- the emotional betrayal cycle has taken place and they are no longer buddies who just watch football on Sundays. They are now possibilities that seem endless.

Women, on the other hand, are able to emotionally cheat without having to include the physical aspect. Women are able to connect to men in other ways than their bedrooms- I’m not saying that men can’t do the same- but at some point, women are convinced that while sex may be important; it is not the end all. There are some that value money and stature; in addition to, some that value an emotional connection over The Playlist. After talking to a few women, it seemed as if finding a man that connects with them on an emotional level became increasingly harder to find over the years. Good sex can happen on a random weekend. Great sex can take place when you’re least expecting it. Mind-blowing sex normally comes along with the guy that doesn’t meet the “great guy” criteria- let’s be honest, guys have to be somewhat of an asshole to grab a handful of your hair. But a relationship where a woman feels that they are able to trust and confide in a man by allowing herself to become vulnerable comes once or twice in a lifetime. This can be created the exact same way that men are able to create a connection. The topic of conversation is not the key to the emotional connection from a woman’s perspective; however, the depth of the conversation leads to the bond. Many women are able to emotionally betray their partner without physically betraying them because many of them have had enough rope, handcuffs, or park settings in their lives- although, some could use a little more. This goes back to my sex without emotions point, but we’ll save that for another day and debate between myself and The Watcher.

In closing, the title of the article was chosen to show the purpose of the first step in emotional cheating for both men and women. Smiley faces here, and a wink there, result in laughter…which is good for the soul. This is not to say that whenever your partner decides they would like to watch something or do something with someone else, they are cheating. As long as an open line of communication on the topic remains present, everyone can breathe easy and enjoy the moments that they do share. By simply inquiring about the game that you do not understand will keep lines open and both parties happy. While getting more physical and more emotional with someone else are two ways to ruin a relationship, it seems as if getting more emotional is the only way to save one. The bottom line is exactly what this blog is about; communication with your significant other will lead to successes or failures. :) ;-) :( :-P :).