Bridging the Communication Gap

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Birds: Mixing it up

By The Watcher

Typically, as humans, we are creatures of habit. We all have our own methods of how we live our lives. We usually take the same route home everyday. We order our food a certain way. We buy the same drinks when we go out. We shop at the same stores. Once we find a routine that suits us, we typically do not stray far from it.

Having a routine is how we organize our daily lives. The daily habits we create and maintain, lead to a wonderfully simplifying predictability in our daily lives. However being predictable can be the very thing that is holding you back from finding that mate you long to have. Being predictable can also be the fastest way to let the flame burn out in your relationship. There is a saying that goes, “if it ain't broke don't fix it”. If you are continuously running into dead-end companions then you need some variation in your life because what ever routine you have going for yourself is not helping you get the results you desire. If your relationship is not as exciting as it use to be in the past, you could use some variation in your routine as well. I’m not saying that all habits and routines are bad. However if your current habits and routine prove to be fruitless in the relationship department, then change is needed.

Change is good because disrupts a stagnant routine. You want your lifestyle to be more like a moving river instead of a stagnant lake. Rivers are ever flowing streams of fresh water that can be both gentle and exciting at the same time. Lakes are idle and inactive bodies of water that lack movement or continuity. When there is no change and energy you end up doing the same old thing, day after day. Most people are resistant to change because they feel they are losing control over their lives. However when it comes to breaking the monotony in your life, you are in control.

There are many single people out there that are frustrated with the opposite sex. In your mind you are doing everything you are suppose to be doing to find that great mate. You're staying in decent shape, keeping an up-to-date wardrobe, you're going out for happy hours and weekend events to be social. But nothing seems to work. For whatever reason you still end up right where you started, single and alone. Ladies, stop going after the badass guy at the bar. Yes, you may be attracted to him, BUT you cannot change him to be your knight in shining amour. Fellas, stop going after the skeeza in the mini-skirt with the tramp stamp on her back. You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.

If you are in a current relationship and you feel it is getting a little boring or dull, take it upon yourself to be spontaneous. Attempt to engage in new activities with your significant other that you two have not tried yet. Go on a surprise date. Leave them naughty notes in random places. Send them a dirty picture or two. Cook a meal together instead of going out to eat. Have sex in new positions than your standard 3 positions. Break out of the mundane and express yourself to your partner. You become complacent in a relationship when the activities you share with your partner become predictable and mundane. By not being continuously spontaneous and creative with your partner you allow the flame you two shared to slowly fizzle out. And as you know, an idle mind is the devil’s playground. If you are not staying on your partner’s mind, I’m here to tell you someone else is occupying that void you left. Hence, this opens the door to cheating and an eventual break up.

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel that you are in a funk, if you are in a relationship drought, if you feel like you are lonely and there is no one out there for you, I suggest you change the type of people you go seek. Break away from your current expectations of your desirable mate and expand your horizons. You may be surprised with who you are actually compatible with.

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