Bridging the Communication Gap

We decided the University of Richmond Campus wasn't a large enough bridge.

Friday, June 24, 2011

If it looks like a dead end, has a sign like a dead end, then it's a...

Q&A time again, kids! The formula hasn't changed. Our email address ( plus your desire to have a question answered equals a Q&A post! It's like algebra, but way better.

Oh! Ladies, if you are easily offended and hate acknowledging the truth sometimes, read a different post.

Question: I am having a problem with a young lady. We are not dating but we are very very very close if you know what I'm saying. Now she has said many times we are not together but when I act that way she gets all mad and calls me insensitive and inattentive to her emotional well being. But my whole thing is this, BITCH THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR!! I buy you flowers and you act weird. I talk sweet to you and you push me away. So I ease up and just do me and now she’s all pissy. What would you do?

Mr. SR…C:
If someone does not want to be with you and you want more than they are willing to give move on. You’re a place holder until she finds someone she wants to be with, harsh but when she says she does not want to be with you she means it. Clearly she is giving you every reason to find another woman or stop messing with her but you will not take it. When she finally hurts your feelings she probably will say “I told you we were not together, so I can’t see why you are mad that I found someone else”.

Listen to James and Bobby Purify “I’m Your Puppet”…sounds like whoever this young lady is has had some practice pulling strings.

The Radical: I can’t remember who said to me that “bitches like to be disrespected,” and although the wording is more…well, no, I wouldn’t word it any differently out of earshot of some women (i.e. respectable women). You have the option to pursue her as you are currently, hoping that she realizes that the games aren’t working, or you can play the game better and just stop. She's either telling you the truth when she behaves like the relationship route isn't one she wants to walk down (actions speak louder than megaphones) or she's fronting like that Pharrell song and not really worth the effort anyways, unless you enjoy the thought of dating (or just being exclusive with) a girl that is going to continuously play those power struggle games of constantly proving one's worth and desire. Fuck that.

MD: I'm sorry to tell you...actually no I'm not, nobody wants what they can have (look at yourself for example). You gave her every option, the ability to make every decision, and the right to your pride before she would even call you her man. This is harsh, but this is a learning experience for you. In the future, you will not put anyone woman above yourself nor will you allow a woman to dictate your life and agenda. So give her what she wants and if she comes chasing, you'll run away faster; but if she doesn't, you'll move on the next one...and the next one, and the next one.

The Watcher: I once heard in the power struggle of a relationship, the one that cares the least or appears to care the least has the upper hand. Right now you are like a sad puppy dog chasing after a moody owner who picks and chooses when she will give you the attention you deserve. So you can either fight or flight. Fight to get on the same page by demanding she practices what she is preaching or play Trey Songz' "Last Time" after you tell her you are taking your talents to South Beach to swim in another girl's ocean.


  1. as a girl, I can say without a doubt we don't admire a guy we can't respect; for sure there is always a teeter totter component to every healthy relationship, like TW said, but what she is doing isn't healthy...

  2. In the girls defense... if guys can play this game, why can't she? But I totally agree with everyone of you..

    The watcher tells us that the person who cares the least has the upper hand and this has been true in every relationship I have ever been in. Until you find that one person that cares just as equally as you do, your relationship will never be balanced (whether it be an intimate relationship or platonic).

    MD gives great advice saying in the future you will learn not to put another person above yourself. Bingo. Learn to love yourself before you can ever be loved by someone else. Be selfish (but realistic) when it comes to intimate relationships. Don't castrate yourself and hand the girl your testicles in a plastic baggie... that's certainly not loving yourself.

    The radical says this "bitch" isn't worth the tiresome games etc. That about wraps it all up. Either have fun with this and don't expect anything (other than sex) out of it... let her bullshit complaining roll off your shoulders and repeat (in your head... or out loud if you wanna piss her off), "suck my dick" over and over and over again to drown out her complaining.

    And finally, Mr. SR...C says you're a place holder. Couldn't have said it better myself. She's using you for the attention and sex you give her (because every girl craves both) and when you keep giiving it to her, you're reinforcing her behavior. Move on.. or just play the game with her!

  3. Out of Oz, I've always drawn a clear line between determine if one is respectable and constantly making one prove that s/he is to be respected at any given time. She isn't trying to be with a man that respects her, she is steadily gauging temporary respect levels by being abbrasive. This is how women end up with ain't shit kinds of dudes. They will respond with the kind of aggressive tendencies that are “respectable” because they lack the same affection and ability to actually admit such to a women.

    Dez3e, I wasn't saying that she isn't allowed to play the games of relationships. Quite the opposite. She is more than allowed, I may even encourage it, but there are productive and unproductive games. The one she has chosen is unproductive. And I love your summaries. I should have you with me at all times to translate what I'm saying to women.

    - The Radical