Bridging the Communication Gap

We decided the University of Richmond Campus wasn't a large enough bridge.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Guess What? It’s True. Nice Guys Do Finish Last (Published Oct 21st, '09)

Now readers (especially you, ladies), before insults begin to fly from your innocent mouths, hear me out. I am by no means suggesting that I’m the definition of a nice guy or the nicest guy on campus (I mean, I live with three saints), but I will say I’ve had my moments, and I’m one of the few guys who has been on both sides of the fence. Therefore, my experiences are unlike others, and I have a new perception of the “nice guy” and the “jerk,” along with the results they produce.

These results are due to stereotypes people created well before our time. Thanks to them, I think it is fair to say that ladies see “nice” and automatically assume safe/predictable/boring. On the other hand, the word “jerk” implies dangerous/unpredictable/exciting.

We all know which one sounds more fun. Although these stereotypes are often accurate, we also know what happens when we assume things: We make an “ASS out of U and ME.”

Ladies, “nice guys” are just as capable of being outgoing and mysterious as the “jerk.” Just because the nice guy doesn’t have a problem saying he likes you doesn’t mean he’s soft. Believing he is will lead to a major disappointment and possible loss of a great opportunity.

Now, having said that, nice guys, you need to realize that you are already losing points because of these stereotypes, so I’m going to need you to step out of the box. Stand out. Be different! Hell, you can even be cliché; it is extremely rare to find cliché on a college campus! It’s only called cliché because it works.

I can personally say I have cooked dinner for a girl, taken a girl to the park and drawn an invitation inviting a girl on an ice cream date. Being different is much more than just saying it! You heard Terance last week, “Don’t talk about it, be about it.”

Your main competition is seen as Batman, the George Clooney version, and you’re perceived as Robin, the Chris O’Donnell version. But I have good news for you guys – one day you will have your own movie in which you get the girl.

Everyone notices that the jerks are the majority of guys getting “action” on campus, but that stops here. Part of the reason you’re the nice guy is that you aren’t just trying to hook up and walk away.

I’m not proud of it, but I have been the guy who hooked up with a girl and avoided eye contact with her in the Pier line the following Monday. I have had situations where I did not respond to text or Facebook messages. It is not the lifestyle that you want to adopt or idealize.

Jerks are a hot commodity in college because of the large number of girls who do not know exactly what they are looking for, but they realize they want “excitement” and to feel “butterflies.” The night before the day I treated the girl as if she was the plague, she’d never been picked up and pinned like that before (or will ever again, haha, joke! Get a sense of humor people!).

My point is, jerks gradually lose their “swag” as they leave school and enter the real world. They’ve reached their peak, and you are still the prospect who has so much potential! The day will come when the girl to whom you knew you would give the world will realize it too!

That day, my friend, you will be the last man standing, aka, “The Nice Guy Who Finished Last.” Jamie Foxx said, “It don’t matter the tempo, as long as you make it last.” Granted he was talking about something a little more physical, but it applies the same.

So give it time, nice guys, and don’t conform to the prototypical college male, aka douchebag. Trust me, I highly doubt you’ll find a girl who has an issue with you finishing last.

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