Bridging the Communication Gap

We decided the University of Richmond Campus wasn't a large enough bridge.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

What Women Want: Who Knows? (Published March 25th, '10)

I think the time has come for me to admit one of my deep, dark secrets … one of my all-time favorite movies just so happens to be “What Women Want.” I honestly think that every man, as well as every woman, should see this movie at least twice during his or her lifetime – even if it is as a “Richmond movie,” hence my suggestion to see it twice.

The other reason I advise everyone to view the movie twice is the underlying message of the film. Everyone has in his or her mind the “perfect mate.” A fair number of those people have realized that person does not actually exist. Those people have realized there are certain traits they value more than others and certain traits they do not admire at all.

This being said, it sounds like a simple equation to follow: Give a little, get a little. But, this is far from the case, because of every person’s inability to specify exactly what he or she wants.

Although a person has an idea of what he/she would like in a partner, he or she often contradicts himself or herself when trying to communicate what he or she needs to others. I am by no means suggesting that I am able to complete this extremely complex task. I’ve been known to fall into this annoying habit – I think we all have at some point.

We want that person who doesn’t need to be around us or that person who has his or her own group of friends, but we want that person to want to be around us, and that person to love to hang out with our friends just as much or more than his or her own. I have heard female friends say they would like to take guys to their socials who can survive without them being on their arm, but they want them by their side when they need them. I’ve heard my guy friends say they want a girl who is going to put out, but is not easy. These two statements contradict themselves, but make sense to those who are saying them.

The movie “What Women Want” helps solve this issue. For those of you who haven’t seen it, Mel Gibson is the star of the movie and magically acquires the ability to hear women’s private thoughts, which allows him the ability to alter his behavior based on what he hears from the women around him.

Because we aren’t all lucky enough to know what the person we are interested in is thinking, we have to decipher the bullshit that that person is trying to say through his/her actions. There is not one specific technique that has been perfected to perform this process. The only thing people can do is ask the person to be completely honest with them. And if there is still manure to dig through, that person doesn’t know what he/she wants.

Their answer should determine your answer. We think the gray area is gone when we finally have the “talk,” but the gray area never really goes away.

In closing, this is a special article and issue for The Birds and the Bees section. It is the last we will have with our beloved editor, Maura Bogue. Maura gave us our opportunity to speak with all of you, and we would like for you to join us in thanking her for all of the things she has done for us and the opinion section as a whole. We’re crazy about you, Maura, and know that from here on out, The Collegian’s opinion section will always have a piece of you with it.

UFA 507

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