By A Member of the Birds and Bees' Staff
What is it that constitutes sex in a relationship? I once had an argument with a girlfriend because she saw me holding another girl's hand (platonically). Not sex, but if this is enough to for her to complain that I was freely distributing my affection, than surely there is a similar interpretation of sex out there. “No, baby, I did not have sex with that woman. It was just a blowjob. If Congress doesn't consider that sex how can you?” And so forth. Where is the brightline on sex?
This brightline is necessary for considerations beyond cheating. Long distance lovers find this to be very true very quickly. Mutual masturbation via Skype, oovoo or iChat may be all that is needed for some to continue having their sexual needs met even though their partner is far from them. Others find that text cyber sex is the best way to roleplay through fantasies. The act of masturbation is undisclosed and there are many more possibilities. The alternative of phone sex adds the element of voice while still avoiding the potential awkwardness of watching a lover touch themselves in their favorite way (more often than not a way very different than how you've been doing it all this time). But are these even sex? Sure they generate and possibly redirect sexual energy that has been building, but do they satisfy the need for sex?
There is a need for me to do some research and give deep thought to my upcoming article. Please join me in a bit of reader participation in creating the data to which I will apply my personal theories. The following survey is asking you about the importance of sex in a relationship. I have a thought about it and I want you to prove me right or wrong in numbers. Don't worry, I know that you guys will hold to exactly what I know to be true. And don't try and prove me wrong. You've already gotten the wrong idea about my goal.
Here's the survey link...here.