With blockbuster hits coming out this year (No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits, aka FWB), I began wondering why just sex or the hook-up relationship does not work. In theory, it should work better than the traditional relationship. Two individuals are in agreement that emotions should not be involved and that they are solely seeking the physical portion of a relationship. I have not seen FWB, but I have seen No Strings Attached and it portrayed a similar situation that myself and several of my friends have been a part of. In the beginning, it is the best "decision" that could have been made and everyone is envious of you; but eventually, The Social and Emotional eXchange takes place.
Although many people deny the possibility of this taking place, the fact of the matter is, sex changes things. In every situation, two people are making a social and emotional connection.
The social exchange comes when the two individuals expect their relationship to solely take place in private or in the bedroom; and, for both parties to feel comfortable not acknowledging their situation in public situations. Therefore the entire relationship must be built on a lack of details, and we all know that is impossible in this day and age. Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and FourSquare make keeping details out of a relationship an unrealistic goal. These media sites became and are becoming popular as a result of a society built on the transmission of information and gossip. But if by some miracle, two individuals are able to withstand the social connection, they always seem to understate the emotional connection.
When drawing up the plans to this oasis or perfect relationship, the emotional exchange does not take place. Emotions are usually lumped together with the social aspect; therefore, elimination of the former will automatically destroy the latter. However, this takes place inside the bedroom, in addition to, social encounters. Let's face it, sex without emotion is pointless. One of my good friends once told me, "Every man's goal should be to touch the soul of a woman." To our female readers, next time you ask yourself why your male friend is with a psycho, you now have your reasoning. Emotions cannot be looked at as simply words because they're much more than 'I love you.' Anyone can say those three words, it takes a lot more to actually join an untamed mentality and become one. The use of the “L-word” is for another blog post in the future, but it leads to the point that somewhere down the line, one of the two untamed, loose-spirited individuals involved in the relationship will develop a spark without the Trojan or Lifestyle (or Brooklyn’s Finest for our New Yorkers out there). At another time in the relationship, someone will experience a sense of jealously after seeing or hear that their FWB went home with someone else or has feelings for someone else. Because it is at these points that one party realizes that they want more from their “sex buddy” and that they are lacking a skill/trait that another person does have in their repertoire.
There are only two solutions to the drama of a FWB situation: 1) the drama of a relationship or 2) a one-night-stand (two if it's that good). I'm not saying all relationships are drama-filled, but show me a perfect relationship and I'll show you a problem. Honestly, the only difference between drama from sex only relationships and an actual relationship is the title. And the difference between a one night stand and a sex only relationship are the emotions attached. The Facebook stalking will still take place, but no one can cry or pout over what they never had. So make wise decisions and realize that ignorance is not always bliss. Remember that Facebook has also ruined our ability to remain anonymous. And emotionless sex is not for the emotionally unstable.