By The Birds and the Bees' Staff
Today's post is special for a few reasons. 1.) This is a Friday post outside of our usual schedule (we made it special just for you). 2.) This post gives you, the readers, insight into the things that The Birds and the Bees' Staff are reading to stay knowledgeable about the subject at hand. Here's the thing: if you want more of these, we have to know you do. Give us feedback on what you thought of the articles. We are constantly seeking to improve for your benefit, thus we read outside sources constantly. Here's a peek at our reading material.
“Hey, Researchers, It's Time to GET OVER Playboy's Depictions of Women” by Michael Castleman via Psychology Today
Media images bombard us in our every day life. Telling us what to wear, how to eat, smell, drink, and most frequently (and arguably most detrimentally) how to be attractive. And researchers are constantly studying how these images effect us on a group and individual level. Here's the catch: what if the images of beauty aren't keeping up with the societal development of a relative view of beauty? This is exactly what Castleman discusses by pointing out how old hat the study of Playboy's notions of beauty are since they are less a tell of societal understandings of beauty and more a show of Hefner's personal opinions of beauty.
“Are Online Flirtations Cheating or Not?" By Stacy Kaiser via USA Today
Flirting can now be displayed in various forms nowadays with the advancement of technology. We are not limited to just flirting in person or on the telephone in today's society. Flirting can be in the form of a winking smiley face in a text, a Facebook message or a twit pic. This is helpful to the introverted person who gets cotton mouth when talking in person. However this can be the downfall to many relationships. Flirting online or via text is just as bad as flirting with someone online.
“Translate Her Sex Sounds” by Kiera Aaron via Men's Health
This article caught our eye for an obvious reason. Our biggest question is whether this is true enough to make a general assumption. It also leads to the question of what are true signs of faking. We think the article is one that everyone should read in order to gain a handle on a situation that we (as men) often run into- deciphering the Sounds of Love Making.
"There's no Such Thing as a Home-Wrecker” via The Feminine Woman
How can you blame an outside source for infidelity in your relationship? Yes, there are those who prey on women and men in relationships, but then there are those who don't try very hard because the person in the relationship is interested. The point is your partner is cheating. It is your partner with whom you should be mad. We see a future article for The Birds and the Bees here.
We, The Birds and the Bees' Staff, hope you found these articles useful, informative, or at least entertaining. We clearly enjoyed them enough to share. But this is a trial run. If you'd like us to continue this let us know. More and more we realize that we write this blog for our own enjoyment, but its pointless without building an audience that enjoys our work. We want to provide you with worthwhile reading material, so let us know which of these articles was worth your while or if you even want us to continue providing links like this. Feedback. We want it. We need it. But more directly stated: we need you.
Showing posts with label Emotional Cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotional Cheating. Show all posts
Friday, August 5, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Birds: EmotiCONS
By MD
Cheating is an act that isn't restricted to any one societal class, race, gender, or sexuality. The act which has been turned into what seems like a societal norm through television shows exposing individuals that decide to partake in one of America’s past-times, happens more often than we think. Cheating and betrayal can take place on two main levels: physical and emotional. We all know what physical cheating is and how we define it will differ depending on each person and their personal experience. While emotional cheating can also be defined based on an individual’s personal opinion, it also has a unique quality that does not exist on the physical level- the ability to be invisible in the early stages.
Both men and women cheat; however, through my experience, it seems that the two go about their deceitful ways differently. While both genders have the option to physical and emotionally cheat, it seems as if the two genders often end up with varying results. Through conversations with several individuals (both men and women), it seemed fair to say that men and women cheat physically as a result of dissatisfaction. However, coming up with reasons that men and women emotionally cheat proved to be the more difficult task.
Several people stated that they were unable to come up with situations where men would feel the need to emotionally cheat and how they would go about the act. I came up with an answer that may surprise some and enlighten others, “Men do cheat emotionally; however, they do not realize that it is emotionally cheating until the physical act has taken place.”
For example, if a man is a huge football fan; but, the woman that he is committed to would rather watch HGTV on Sundays, the male might find it more comforting to watch the game with a couple of his friends that do enjoy the Gridiron. The group may consist of both males and females; however, it feels like gender is not a part of the situation. The emotional cheating comes into play when the man feels as if he is unable to talk to his partner about the subject and can only speak to one of his female friends which share the same likes and dislikes. Although the male does not believe it is cheating, he is sharing a part of his life with another woman that he feels he is unable to share with the person he is committed too. We’ve all experienced situations where we discuss one topic with a friend and that leads to another topic which was not the original intent, but the end result. After a while, practice becomes habit and habit becomes natural. Thus, one connection leads to another, and another, until that male feels that they are in a Facebook relationship with the wrong person. Once this takes place- right around the time of the first awkward eye contact or goodbye- the emotional betrayal cycle has taken place and they are no longer buddies who just watch football on Sundays. They are now possibilities that seem endless.
Women, on the other hand, are able to emotionally cheat without having to include the physical aspect. Women are able to connect to men in other ways than their bedrooms- I’m not saying that men can’t do the same- but at some point, women are convinced that while sex may be important; it is not the end all. There are some that value money and stature; in addition to, some that value an emotional connection over The Playlist. After talking to a few women, it seemed as if finding a man that connects with them on an emotional level became increasingly harder to find over the years. Good sex can happen on a random weekend. Great sex can take place when you’re least expecting it. Mind-blowing sex normally comes along with the guy that doesn’t meet the “great guy” criteria- let’s be honest, guys have to be somewhat of an asshole to grab a handful of your hair. But a relationship where a woman feels that they are able to trust and confide in a man by allowing herself to become vulnerable comes once or twice in a lifetime. This can be created the exact same way that men are able to create a connection. The topic of conversation is not the key to the emotional connection from a woman’s perspective; however, the depth of the conversation leads to the bond. Many women are able to emotionally betray their partner without physically betraying them because many of them have had enough rope, handcuffs, or park settings in their lives- although, some could use a little more. This goes back to my sex without emotions point, but we’ll save that for another day and debate between myself and The Watcher.
In closing, the title of the article was chosen to show the purpose of the first step in emotional cheating for both men and women. Smiley faces here, and a wink there, result in laughter…which is good for the soul. This is not to say that whenever your partner decides they would like to watch something or do something with someone else, they are cheating. As long as an open line of communication on the topic remains present, everyone can breathe easy and enjoy the moments that they do share. By simply inquiring about the game that you do not understand will keep lines open and both parties happy. While getting more physical and more emotional with someone else are two ways to ruin a relationship, it seems as if getting more emotional is the only way to save one. The bottom line is exactly what this blog is about; communication with your significant other will lead to successes or failures. :) ;-) :( :-P :).
Cheating is an act that isn't restricted to any one societal class, race, gender, or sexuality. The act which has been turned into what seems like a societal norm through television shows exposing individuals that decide to partake in one of America’s past-times, happens more often than we think. Cheating and betrayal can take place on two main levels: physical and emotional. We all know what physical cheating is and how we define it will differ depending on each person and their personal experience. While emotional cheating can also be defined based on an individual’s personal opinion, it also has a unique quality that does not exist on the physical level- the ability to be invisible in the early stages.
Both men and women cheat; however, through my experience, it seems that the two go about their deceitful ways differently. While both genders have the option to physical and emotionally cheat, it seems as if the two genders often end up with varying results. Through conversations with several individuals (both men and women), it seemed fair to say that men and women cheat physically as a result of dissatisfaction. However, coming up with reasons that men and women emotionally cheat proved to be the more difficult task.
Several people stated that they were unable to come up with situations where men would feel the need to emotionally cheat and how they would go about the act. I came up with an answer that may surprise some and enlighten others, “Men do cheat emotionally; however, they do not realize that it is emotionally cheating until the physical act has taken place.”
For example, if a man is a huge football fan; but, the woman that he is committed to would rather watch HGTV on Sundays, the male might find it more comforting to watch the game with a couple of his friends that do enjoy the Gridiron. The group may consist of both males and females; however, it feels like gender is not a part of the situation. The emotional cheating comes into play when the man feels as if he is unable to talk to his partner about the subject and can only speak to one of his female friends which share the same likes and dislikes. Although the male does not believe it is cheating, he is sharing a part of his life with another woman that he feels he is unable to share with the person he is committed too. We’ve all experienced situations where we discuss one topic with a friend and that leads to another topic which was not the original intent, but the end result. After a while, practice becomes habit and habit becomes natural. Thus, one connection leads to another, and another, until that male feels that they are in a Facebook relationship with the wrong person. Once this takes place- right around the time of the first awkward eye contact or goodbye- the emotional betrayal cycle has taken place and they are no longer buddies who just watch football on Sundays. They are now possibilities that seem endless.
Women, on the other hand, are able to emotionally cheat without having to include the physical aspect. Women are able to connect to men in other ways than their bedrooms- I’m not saying that men can’t do the same- but at some point, women are convinced that while sex may be important; it is not the end all. There are some that value money and stature; in addition to, some that value an emotional connection over The Playlist. After talking to a few women, it seemed as if finding a man that connects with them on an emotional level became increasingly harder to find over the years. Good sex can happen on a random weekend. Great sex can take place when you’re least expecting it. Mind-blowing sex normally comes along with the guy that doesn’t meet the “great guy” criteria- let’s be honest, guys have to be somewhat of an asshole to grab a handful of your hair. But a relationship where a woman feels that they are able to trust and confide in a man by allowing herself to become vulnerable comes once or twice in a lifetime. This can be created the exact same way that men are able to create a connection. The topic of conversation is not the key to the emotional connection from a woman’s perspective; however, the depth of the conversation leads to the bond. Many women are able to emotionally betray their partner without physically betraying them because many of them have had enough rope, handcuffs, or park settings in their lives- although, some could use a little more. This goes back to my sex without emotions point, but we’ll save that for another day and debate between myself and The Watcher.
In closing, the title of the article was chosen to show the purpose of the first step in emotional cheating for both men and women. Smiley faces here, and a wink there, result in laughter…which is good for the soul. This is not to say that whenever your partner decides they would like to watch something or do something with someone else, they are cheating. As long as an open line of communication on the topic remains present, everyone can breathe easy and enjoy the moments that they do share. By simply inquiring about the game that you do not understand will keep lines open and both parties happy. While getting more physical and more emotional with someone else are two ways to ruin a relationship, it seems as if getting more emotional is the only way to save one. The bottom line is exactly what this blog is about; communication with your significant other will lead to successes or failures. :) ;-) :( :-P :).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)